Date: 2007-11-01 17:21 Subject: Rollie: an appreciation post. Security: Public

This time four weeks ago I was crouched beneath a blanket with my head between my knees.
I should never have doubted the G-man.

The decision to buy a too-expensive plane ticket and cross the country for an indeterminate amount of time with little money and few contacts should not have given be a moment's pause.

Why? Because Rollie Geiger takes care of his own.
Silly of me to doubt.
I'll do it again, of course, but I'll be silly then too.

A month ago Coach Geiger referred me to Dan Pfaff, who referred me to Dr. Whittaker here in Portland.
After a year of pain, surgery and three stagnant months off afterward, 3 weeks with Dr. Wittaker have returned me to nearly full-strength. Remarkable.
He has x-ray vision, clearly.

I'll detail appointments soon, when I'm not playing the part of the public library's human jungle gym.

KaraBonaBritAmyJennLaurieJackieZachMayCalebGraham (and others i forget and will feel bad about),

I miss you desperately

Date: 2007-10-23 14:46 Subject: Straight from the gutter Security: Public

You have spoken to me, Portland,



and your voice is sad and sweet.

Date: 2007-10-19 16:10 Subject: I wear the same thing everyday and I'm starting to itch. Security: Public

I just wrote a much too long and much too boring entry detailing my injury, surgery and rehab.

Delete.

Here's what you need to know

1) I got surgery to fix an abdominal muscle that had torn off of my pubic bone.
I'm glad that's fixed, but the fact that it happened is disconcerting.

2) I run funny.

3) I'm in Portland to see Justin Whittaker, who is teaching me how to not run so funny. Hopefully this will keep my muscles from detaching from my bones.

4) I am staying on this lovely lady's futon.


5) I lost my phone two days before I had to leave. I called everyone I knew (on a friend's phone) asking for old sprint phones onto which I could transfer service. This, surprisingly, was a failure. Fortunately, I was due for an upgrade.

Thank you, Sprint store, even though you did not provide me with the My Little Pony stickers my phone is so blatantly lacking.
(Yes, Leslie is licking a giant wall of bubble gum.)

6) This began as a 10 day trip. I packed for a 10 day trip. Now, 15 days in, it's looking like 6 weeks might do it. When will I come home?
I'll come home I feel like it, Jenn, GOD! Or, when I get really cold.

Date: 2007-10-15 10:41 Subject: Dizzy Security: Public

Edit: Because Mamma Lucas told me it didn't make any sense.

She is infinitely wise.

Just know that the garbled mash paralleled my state of mind.

I've spent 13 months muscling through miles, trying to convince myself I felt OK.
At first, because I needed to deliver during my senior seasons.
Lately, because I want so badly to do well (and to shove it right in the nay-sayers' dumb faces).

I'm sick of all the halfway shit. I'm sick of being patient.
I'm not doing it anymore and maybe (though, admittedly, I'm susceptible to mirages [also cliches]) I can see the light.

Details in a bit. (Get off my back, Jenn.)

Date: 2007-10-09 13:08 Subject: Portland, I am all up in you. Security: Public

Details and motive at a later date.

For now, suffice it it say that after months of sitting and waiting things are moving at a breakneck speed and getting done.

Movin' and a-Shakin'.

Also, Portland is a bizarre never-never land of perpetual youth, daddy-supported idealized humanism, softened counter culture, and endless baristi and dog walkers 'working' on their theses (or portfolios, or bands).

This is my couch:



Stuff is good.

Date: 2007-10-03 11:56 Subject: Hey Dudes, I like you. Security: Public

So, lately the hate mail has been through the roof! Here's a sampling from yesterday:

"Why are you saying that your life is so hard and cruel? Ummm, you get weird looks
because your hair is in a partial mohawk, you are getting paid to run so you have
money to live with but you are chosing to sleep outside and be "homeless". Yea,
sleeping right outside your front door! Stop pretending to be interesting and just be
you."
-Hater #1

"If I am as bad at my area of study as you are at writing, I hope someone has the
decency to tell me so I could change. What you write doesn't really mean anything. It
just seems like you are trying to make yourself sound smart."
-Hater #2

In response:
I apologize for offending you with my existence. However, I'm pretty easy to avoid.

The radiating hate did bring something to my attention:

Let me clarify my position. Any complaints I've made about my current state are strictly facetious. I am undeservedly lucky and honored to be running post-collegiately and to have the friends and resources that I do.
Allow me to elaborate:



Hello, friends, I appreciate you. Wanna run?



Heather, you're great. Thanks for fixing me.



Underwater treadmill, I hope you rot in Hell. Kidding. You're OK



Weight room's OK, outside is better.



Everything's better with friends, even sub-zero.



OMG did you see what BrAnGeLiNa said to ToMkAt. LoLzzz!!!111



KBiGuYzz!!


Eat it, haters.

Date: 2007-09-28 12:06 Subject: Digital Panhandler Security: Public Location: the gutter Mood: homeless Music: drunken rambling

Say, hypothetically, I'd been kicked off my porch,

    say I were roaming the streets dirty and sticky with all my worldly possessions on my back,

    say passersby averted their eyes and shushed their children, who pointed and whined in my wake;

would you take me in?

These boys didn't know any better

and I'm now an honorary member of the BZL (BroZone Lair, for those not in the know.)

"We're from a rich tradition.  Sixty-nine years of partyin' hard and objectifying women. 97 Lexus, whatever, I'm over it."

                -Graham, whose 5th grade campaign for class president included handing out graham crackers. (He lost.)

"BroZone Lair, issa way a life, bro, and hell yeah this chair is Ikea.  'Sup human females, babe dawgs, smell that?"

                -Caleb, who is, in fact, afraid of human females.

In terms of my runnerdom, my much-anticipated orthotics just arrived, rehab is going well, I'm no longer worried that the surgery was a failure or waiting for my left leg to pop off at the hip in due bitter Barbie dolls' karmic comeupance.

Thing are looking up.

Signing off from the BROZONE LAIR

Date: 2007-09-23 19:39 Subject: If birds wake me up tomorrow, I will eat them for breakfast. Security: Public

The glamorous life of a pro athlete.


5:30AM-Wake with the birds-a consequence of my lack of ceiling.   Free lodging is worth every penny.
5:30-7:00-Eat pasta salad and plan my future home. -->I think I could make it happen.
7:00-7:15-Ride my bike (my only transportation) to meet Colleen for a run at the lake
7:15-7:45-Occupy myself with an interesting spot on the sole of my shoe as I am serenaded by Shady McGrady, a resident of the mean streets of  Raleigh
7:45-9:45-Stretch, Run, Stretch by myself, all the while mentally plucking Colleen limb from limb
9:45-10:45-Rehab
10:45-11:00-Bike Home
11:00-12:00-Eat 2 day old pasta salad.  Try to remember last meal I had that wasn't pasta salad
12:00-2:00-Nap in 90 degree weather with a black teeshirt tied around my face
1:00-2:00-strength training
2:00-5:00-Read, all the while humming Eye of the Tiger.  Ignore colleen.
5:00-7:00-Eat Dinner with friends.  Answer various questions about what a professional runner does, and why.
7:00-9:00-Pretend to read.  Check email 15 times in one hour.  Wonder what a professional runner does, and why.
9:00-10:00-Call Mama Lucas.  Allow her to tell me how great I am.
10:00-Sweat myself to sleep.



But, at the end of the day it's all worth it...


CAUSE OF THE SWAG!!!


and I'm doing what I love.

PS Jenn's friends, I'll be better.

Date: 2007-09-18 21:14 Subject: The road to hell is paved with good intentions... Security: Public

and the aggregate is a hundred million journals, empty past page three.

Well this time it's different.  This time I'll write everyday and divulge my innermost mushies and save it forever and ever so once I'm dead the world can revel in my musings.  My lack of real world problems or connection to anything relevant be damned.  I'm important!

My intent:

1) Create a lifeline linking myself and my going-ons with my family and friends.  I am hard to get ahold of at times.  I am trying to remedy this.

2) Add to the endless expanse of the internet with more dribble.

3) Allow a glance into the goings-on of a fledgling professional runner.

Disclaimer-I can't say I'll have a lot to share in this regard, or that it will be interesting in the least, but I do feel a responsibility to add to this (SUPERAWSOMERAD) resurgence in the running world. Also, Julia of 5 years ago would have appreciated this sort of resource, and Julia of the present wishes she had more information from her higher-ups, and so the (much faster) Julia of tomorrow will fill the void as a continuation of her responsibility to the Julia of her past (my present). What?